Fall is a real season and leaves really do change color.

Jesus answered my prayer for refreshment this past weekend.

My dear friend Alyssa and I took our fall break to visit our lovely friends in Fayetteville, Arkansas. These are the girls that we went to Kenya with this past summer. (see other blog entries)

These girls are just some of the best. 

One of them used to struggle with drugs, alcohol, and broken relationships, and has now seen the redeeming power of Jesus and walks in complete freedom with some of the most contagious joy I've ever encountered. One of them has chosen to live amongst friends that haven't necessarily tasted and seen of Jesus as she has, and chooses every day to love them well and show them His heart. Another found and accepted Jesus close to a year ago, and seeing Him through her eyes and heart is beyond refreshing. 

I love how following Jesus looks so different for all five of us. He uses my time with them for lots of things, but one of them being to remind me that the values of the Kingdom (prayer, discipleship, evangelism, and more) truly are reproducible anywhere. I've believed that, but it's a whole other thing entirely to leave your community and see it.

Seeing these girls felt like we'd never left Kenya. I'm so thankful to get to do life with such sweet and FUN friends. #woopigsooie #WPS

L to R: me, Erika, Carly, Alyssa, Cambry

the unforced rhythms of grace

Hello again!

Apologies for not posting more in Kenya, or at Kamp. I'm not a writer by default, so my first instinct is definitely not to blog. I'm more of a sit-and-think type of girl, and my whirlwind of thoughts doesn't typically make it onto paper.

To set the scene, I've been sick lately. The whole face-hurting-sneezing-coughing-prebronchitis (apparently I got time fo dat) shenanigan. This happens, without fail, every single Fall.

I'm also not really a complainer. My parents never let me when I was growing up, so it's never been something I've resulted to. I actually feel pretty guilty when I catch myself whining and not just seeking Jesus or doing practical things to solve the situation.

Nevertheless, I called my mom yesterday while I was driving to a geology review session. I was originally just calling to check in and say hi, but ended up talking about how sick I felt and how I didn't want to go to the review session and why is it 3 hours long and all I want is a nap, whine whine whinnneee, etc. I went on for a pretty long while. The whole time, my mom just listened, providing all the right "Aw"'s and "Well, that's no fun!"'s at all the right places. As soon as I'd finished, a lightbulb went off in my noggin and I all of a sudden felt really bad for our entire conversation. I couldn't believe I'd sat and complained for what felt like forever and she'd actually listened to all of it. I apologized, and said that I wanted to be uplifting, not someone who just calls and dumps their burdens on someone else.

Then, Cherie said much with little.
"What? Don't be ridiculous. That's what moms are for!"

We talked about some other, happier things for awhile until the review session was about to start. Then it hit me as I was walking in: How often do I do this with Jesus?

How often do I start to pour out my struggles and burdens onto God and then feel guilty? How often do I believe the lie that my particular burdens are "too much," and that it burdens God to take them away from me?

Right on cue, I heard that sweet, tiny voice in my heart say, "What? Don't be ridiculous. That's what the Holy Spirit is for!"

The Spirit of God is the miraculous healer, the perfect counselor, and the ultimate nurturer. Not only are we invited to take rest at His feet, but doing so is an act of obedience to God because it's something He asks of us!

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matt. 11:28-30 NIV)

Love reading it this way:
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me -- watch how I do it. Learned the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matt. 11:28-30 MSG)

Jesus WANTS my burdens! I'm allowing myself to be blinded, and nullifying the depths of God's everlasting grace by trying to hold on to them! At lifegroup a few weeks ago, the incredible Betsy felt like God put something on her heart, and she shared it with the group. She felt like God gave her a picture of all of us walking to a central point, carrying heavy, metal burdens attached to chains on our wrists. Then she realized that we weren't actually bound to these chains; we were holding on to them. We saw Jesus and let go, and for every chain that we let fall to the ground, Jesus handed us a balloon.

We can't believe the lie that we're too much. We're just enough in Jesus. We can't keep everything to ourselves and then wonder why we don't feel like God's listening. Drop everything to receive Life. Let Him show you how big He is! Stop looking at yourself and stare at Jesus. It's simple, and it's FREEING!

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." (2 Cor. 3:17 NIV)

Exhale. Praise Him.

(I tend to write how I speak, so if something didn't quite make sense or if you want clarification/explanation on any part of this, please ask me.)

Ta ta for now.

Kenya: One week in!

Jambo!

We're officially one week in and things are really moving!

We're still meeting for sessions at 7am each morning! We go over some stuff from our intern packet, and then comes the interesting part. Kenyans learn well from stories, so we've been learning how to tell Bible stories in a way that is easy to understand. We have to use specific wording because there are so many unreached people groups in Kenya, and as some are beginning to be reached, they are using certain lingo, so we are learning how to tell the stories in ways that will translate to all of Kenya. It's really interesting, and pretty hard considering I don't remember anything that isn't right in front of me, hah. Then we go over part of Romans with Tom.

My times with Jesus in the morning have been incredible! I've felt such a peace. Looking up from my Bible to the Kenyan sunrise is unreal. Jesus is so in all the details!

My prayers from Day 2 got answered! We did our first outreach today! We took a smaller bus (matatu) to Kenyatta University. It's a BEAUTIFUL campus. And super big. My group split up and I ended up alone, which was actually really good. I went into one cafe to buy a soda, and heard one of the sweet worker girls say she was stressed. I went over and started talking to her, and she said "hold on," and turned to another customer. I thought she wanted me to wait for her so I just stood there, but then she motioned for me to leave. I thought I was getting her in trouble so I left and just kinda stood outside and prayed about what to do next. Next thing I see, she is crawling under the counter to leave work and come outside to talk with me more! I died. Turns out, her mom was admitted to the hospital this morning, and they don't know if she'll make it through the night. She said meeting me that day was a miracle from God! I got to pray with her for her mom, and talked about her relationship with Jesus! She was such a sweetheart. We exchanged email addresses so hopefully I'll hear about her and her mom soon! Everyone else had some great things happen at the outreach also! God is moving here! We are on fire.

The buses in Kenya are party buses that each have a theme. We took the hip hop bus (yes.) and danced the whole way home with the other Kenyans on the bus.

I'll get some pictures of our compound and different things on here soon.

Anyways. Cannot thank yall enough for the prayers and encouragement! Love all of you dearly. (:

Kwa jeri!

Kenya: Day 2!

I wrote this on our second day and never got to post it, haha. Here goes!

Jambo! 

It's the end of day 2 and I'm already in love! It's their winter here, so it's been in the 60s-70s the whole time. We live with 7ish other Kenyan interns, and they are hilarious. It's the first time that I've been in a culture-clash situation where both sides actually understand and appreciate each other's senses of humor and it's not just small talk. I room with Alyssa and our adorable chef, Helen! She asked if Dolly Parton was alive today. She's the best. I can't really giggle about that though considering I've already asked "So like when is yalls Christmas here?" They were like uh.. December 25th? 

The girls are incredible! We were insta friends from the first day that we all were here! They love Jesus so well, and one of my favorite things about the program in general is that we all look really different in how we follow Him!

On Sunday we went to a church that was for American missionaries serving in Kenya! It was so powerful! The presence was thick. These people are laying their lives down 24/7 and it sorta seemed like this was their hour to be refreshed and relax with the Lord and other people that can relate well. It was so cool to be worshipping with so many people that were giving all they had in the presence of God! 

We were supposed to do outreach at the University of Nairobi today but apparently the students were doing finals. I'm really really looking forward to getting to the outreach! I just wanna share with people! These people are God's children and my heart is burning for more of them to walk in that identity! Heyoooo let's go let's go

We've learned so much already. The people here carry so much wisdom! We have lessons or "sessions" every morning where we all sit in our compound and just get into the word together and talk about what it means until we don't have anything left. Or at least that's what we've done so far. It's super challenging. The Kenyans eat the whole Bible for breakfast and just throw it up on us. (gross? sorry.) 

Keep praying! There are so many unreached people groups here. 

I love all of you! Thank you to everyone for your prayers and encouraging messages!! 

Kwa jeri! (Goodbye!) 

Turn of events!

Right now, Alyssa is on hour 7/20 on the flight to Kenya, and I am still in Coppell.

We woke up to Charles' whining, got dressed, had our last meal at Chick-Fil-haaaaaay and set off for the airport. Everything was going well until I handed the check-in lady my passport. She typed a bunch of stuff into the computer, called a few people, frowned several times, and then finally told us what was wrong: Nairobi has a brand new law, stating that if your passport is within 6 months of expiration, you cannot get into the country.

My passport has 5 months and 2 weeks until expiration. I missed it by two weeks.

There was a long period of attempted negotiations by me, then my parents, then Alyssa's dad, then back to me, and so on. Eventually we came to the conclusion that I could pay to send my baggage with Alyssa, and then fly to London, but there was no guarantee that I would be able to continue on to Nairobi. The lady said they might let me through, but they also might not. My parents were not about to be anywhere near down for that. (Reasonably so.)

I know I can be really dramatic, but I'm serious when I say that I think one of the hardest things I've ever had to do is hug Alyssa at security, tears about to flood, not knowing whether or not I was going to be joining her. I knew we could get another flight, but I didn't know if we could afford the change fee, I didn't want her to be flying/dealing with the Nairobi airport alone, etc. I also had just seen what I thought was a completely solid plan fly right out from under my feet.

I spent a good portion of the ride home wondering if I was even supposed to go anymore. Half of me was certain that the Lord was saying to stay, and the other half of me was equally certain that Satan was trying to interfere with a trip that would further the Kingdom.

Then, after a whirlwind of phone conversations, tears, and prayers, we got the change fee down from $6,500 to $600! Literally, in a few hours, the price was all of a sudden $5,900 cheaper. Praise the Lamb!!!! I'm scheduled to leave Friday, June 1st!

I've already seen so much purpose and blessing from being home. I feel an incredible peace about the whole situation. My prayers went from "Lord, please put me on this plane" to "Thy will be done." I think today was the first time that I actually had a deeper revelation of what it means to feel small. I waltzed into that airport thinking that absolutely nothing was going to deter from how I'd imagined it. It feels so good to open my fists and let God become bigger! I also realized that I'd been putting more value on this trip than on God's sovereignty. I feel like the second I surrendered to the possibility of not going, the Lord swooped in and everything has been so different than how I thought, but so much better. His way truly is perfect. Fear means that I'm not trusting that Jesus has me. I was so worried for Alyssa's safety when really, the safest place she could be is on that plane because that's where Jesus wants her. (And I don't really know what I thought my presence would do for her safety, haha. If anything, I would probably get us in trouble before I would be a safety feature.)

This is all maybe 1/10th of what's actually been going on in my heart in the past 12 hours. Today has truly been a day of refinement, but Jesus has been so sweet! Little prayers and worries that I had have been answered in full. Even when He's correcting me, He is loving beyond what I can comprehend.

So that's it! I'm not going to say that I'm officially going to Kenya until I step onto Nairobi soil, haha. We shall see. Jesus is the best father who gives the best gifts. Where I am on the globe does not determine whether or not I receive them. He's so good to me.

Jambo for now!

And so it begins!

It is currently 6:38am. I am full of coffee (and the Word. haha.) And I'm almost ready!

My flight to Branson is in a few hours, and I'll stay with family and get to see my grandparents!

And then it's off to Kanakuk Staff Training week! I am shaking with excitement/coffee/the Word.

I don't think Charles realizes that I'm leaving. We're both going to have to learn some coping skills for the next month-ish. If you live in Coppell, come over and play with him while I'm gone. Nobody in the Walker family gives him the attention he deserves.

Tempted to shove him in the duffle. 

That's all for now! I'll post between Kamp and Kenya, in the 24 hours that I have at home. (with Alyssa Shoemaker. The legend. My best frond. It's a revelation I have to re-process every day. Haha.)

Be praying! Please. I'm gonna need it! I have been labeled a security threat the last few big flights that I've been on. Baha. I want to grow this week! I'm going in with zero expectations except that Jesus will provide in every way that I need and in some ways that I want. I'm so excited!

Thanks and sic 'em!

Once you go rat, you never go back.

I made it! Finals are OVER. Which means so many things. The sounds of "the zetas" (we knew nothing about them except their greek affiliation, thus the nickname) thumping around upstairs and the other various sounds of Rat Farm are now replaced with the pitter patter of Charlie's paws on the tile, and my dad's whistling.

I know this isn't about Kenya, but I wanted to take a second to honor Rat Farm. I think throw the term around a lot, and maybe haven't fully explained what, or rather "who," Rat Farm is. Warning, it's about to get real. And by real I mean cheesy.

This past year, I lived with Jeannie, Katie, and Melissa. We became best friends freshman year through Katie, and quickly decided to live together once we escaped the glorious dorm life. We are all four ridiculously different, and before college I would not have expected us to be best friends. Yet, it works. It works beautifully! This year was not easy, and some times were definitely harder than others, but boy will I remember and treasure it forever. I learned so much from them. To scratch the surface, here are a few things that immediately came to mind.

-Sometimes you just have to laugh at someone and get over it.
-God did not create us to walk alone.
-There will always always always be places that I lack as a roommate, and there's beauty in being vulnerable.
-There comes a time of night when only a true friend will be willing to go to Whataburger.
-Accepting other people's help is okay and do-able.
-Other people's quirks and idiosyncrasies are hilarious and should be celebrated.

One thing that I don't think I realized until I got home is that these girls always let me be. They never held expectations over my head, or let my value as a roommate depend on my consistency. I feel like the longer we lived together, the more we were able to celebrate each other well and develop a sort of "come as you are" mentality.

We've laughed (cackled), cried, experienced the "firsts" of freshman and sophomore year, attempted countless failed home-maintenance efforts, walked through boyfriend break-ups, watched RG3 win the Heisman, made an embarrassing amount of late-night Whataburger runs, and had so many more memories together that I am so grateful for!

We're splitting ways for next year, but I'm not worried. We'll have Rat Farm nights and be able to pick up right where we left off. Rat Farm was half of my college experience and I am so glad!!

These gems are going places in life. I cannot wait to see where they end up. I wish you knew them like I do!

(We found rat droppings in our apartment within a week of living there. Then got ahold of the song "Snake Farm". Hence the nickname. We know it's gross. Feel free to like us on facebook!)

And we started to make a song/video but we just ended up with this. I don't hate it.