Apologies for not posting more in Kenya, or at Kamp. I'm not a writer by default, so my first instinct is definitely not to blog. I'm more of a sit-and-think type of girl, and my whirlwind of thoughts doesn't typically make it onto paper.
To set the scene, I've been sick lately. The whole face-hurting-sneezing-coughing-prebronchitis (apparently I got time fo dat) shenanigan. This happens, without fail, every single Fall.
I'm also not really a complainer. My parents never let me when I was growing up, so it's never been something I've resulted to. I actually feel pretty guilty when I catch myself whining and not just seeking Jesus or doing practical things to solve the situation.
Nevertheless, I called my mom yesterday while I was driving to a geology review session. I was originally just calling to check in and say hi, but ended up talking about how sick I felt and how I didn't want to go to the review session and why is it 3 hours long and all I want is a nap, whine whine whinnneee, etc. I went on for a pretty long while. The whole time, my mom just listened, providing all the right "Aw"'s and "Well, that's no fun!"'s at all the right places. As soon as I'd finished, a lightbulb went off in my noggin and I all of a sudden felt really bad for our entire conversation. I couldn't believe I'd sat and complained for what felt like forever and she'd actually listened to all of it. I apologized, and said that I wanted to be uplifting, not someone who just calls and dumps their burdens on someone else.
Then, Cherie said much with little.
"What? Don't be ridiculous. That's what moms are for!"
We talked about some other, happier things for awhile until the review session was about to start. Then it hit me as I was walking in: How often do I do this with Jesus?
How often do I start to pour out my struggles and burdens onto God and then feel guilty? How often do I believe the lie that my particular burdens are "too much," and that it burdens God to take them away from me?
Right on cue, I heard that sweet, tiny voice in my heart say, "What? Don't be ridiculous. That's what the Holy Spirit is for!"
The Spirit of God is the miraculous healer, the perfect counselor, and the ultimate nurturer. Not only are we invited to take rest at His feet, but doing so is an act of obedience to God because it's something He asks of us!
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matt. 11:28-30 NIV)
Love reading it this way:
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me -- watch how I do it. Learned the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matt. 11:28-30 MSG)
Jesus WANTS my burdens! I'm allowing myself to be blinded, and nullifying the depths of God's everlasting grace by trying to hold on to them! At lifegroup a few weeks ago, the incredible Betsy felt like God put something on her heart, and she shared it with the group. She felt like God gave her a picture of all of us walking to a central point, carrying heavy, metal burdens attached to chains on our wrists. Then she realized that we weren't actually bound to these chains; we were holding on to them. We saw Jesus and let go, and for every chain that we let fall to the ground, Jesus handed us a balloon.
We can't believe the lie that we're too much. We're just enough in Jesus. We can't keep everything to ourselves and then wonder why we don't feel like God's listening. Drop everything to receive Life. Let Him show you how big He is! Stop looking at yourself and stare at Jesus. It's simple, and it's FREEING!
"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." (2 Cor. 3:17 NIV)
Exhale. Praise Him.
(I tend to write how I speak, so if something didn't quite make sense or if you want clarification/explanation on any part of this, please ask me.)
Ta ta for now.
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