We woke up to Charles' whining, got dressed, had our last meal at Chick-Fil-haaaaaay and set off for the airport. Everything was going well until I handed the check-in lady my passport. She typed a bunch of stuff into the computer, called a few people, frowned several times, and then finally told us what was wrong: Nairobi has a brand new law, stating that if your passport is within 6 months of expiration, you cannot get into the country.
My passport has 5 months and 2 weeks until expiration. I missed it by two weeks.
There was a long period of attempted negotiations by me, then my parents, then Alyssa's dad, then back to me, and so on. Eventually we came to the conclusion that I could pay to send my baggage with Alyssa, and then fly to London, but there was no guarantee that I would be able to continue on to Nairobi. The lady said they might let me through, but they also might not. My parents were not about to be anywhere near down for that. (Reasonably so.)
I know I can be really dramatic, but I'm serious when I say that I think one of the hardest things I've ever had to do is hug Alyssa at security, tears about to flood, not knowing whether or not I was going to be joining her. I knew we could get another flight, but I didn't know if we could afford the change fee, I didn't want her to be flying/dealing with the Nairobi airport alone, etc. I also had just seen what I thought was a completely solid plan fly right out from under my feet.
I spent a good portion of the ride home wondering if I was even supposed to go anymore. Half of me was certain that the Lord was saying to stay, and the other half of me was equally certain that Satan was trying to interfere with a trip that would further the Kingdom.
Then, after a whirlwind of phone conversations, tears, and prayers, we got the change fee down from $6,500 to $600! Literally, in a few hours, the price was all of a sudden $5,900 cheaper. Praise the Lamb!!!! I'm scheduled to leave Friday, June 1st!
I've already seen so much purpose and blessing from being home. I feel an incredible peace about the whole situation. My prayers went from "Lord, please put me on this plane" to "Thy will be done." I think today was the first time that I actually had a deeper revelation of what it means to feel small. I waltzed into that airport thinking that absolutely nothing was going to deter from how I'd imagined it. It feels so good to open my fists and let God become bigger! I also realized that I'd been putting more value on this trip than on God's sovereignty. I feel like the second I surrendered to the possibility of not going, the Lord swooped in and everything has been so different than how I thought, but so much better. His way truly is perfect. Fear means that I'm not trusting that Jesus has me. I was so worried for Alyssa's safety when really, the safest place she could be is on that plane because that's where Jesus wants her. (And I don't really know what I thought my presence would do for her safety, haha. If anything, I would probably get us in trouble before I would be a safety feature.)
This is all maybe 1/10th of what's actually been going on in my heart in the past 12 hours. Today has truly been a day of refinement, but Jesus has been so sweet! Little prayers and worries that I had have been answered in full. Even when He's correcting me, He is loving beyond what I can comprehend.
So that's it! I'm not going to say that I'm officially going to Kenya until I step onto Nairobi soil, haha. We shall see. Jesus is the best father who gives the best gifts. Where I am on the globe does not determine whether or not I receive them. He's so good to me.
Jambo for now!
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