My watch reminds me of Jesus.

I looked down at my watch today and heard some sweet, simple revelation from Jesus.

Any time I look at my watch, I know I'm going to see what time it is. It might not always be the time I expected to see, and the time I see might make me nervous, or excited. But I always see what time it is.

Any time I look at my watch, I'm brought back to reality. No matter what, if my watch says 7pm, it IS 7pm. Even if I think the sky is too dark for 7pm, or I feel like not enough time has gone by to be 7pm. Yup. Still 7pm.

If you were to approach me and ask for the time, I would confidently look down at my watch, expecting to see the time. I would probably never try to guess what time it was. Why do that when I could just look? I don't have to stress over figuring out how many hours and minutes have gone by in the day. You don't need to hear what time I think it is. You need to know the actual time.

When I'm not looking at my watch, I completely trust that the time is being shown on its face. Even though sometimes my world is too loud for me to hear its tickings and beeps, I know it's working. I can't see the individual gears or wires on the inside, but I know that its innerworkings are consistent. A watch doesn't know how to not be consistent, or how to do other things besides be a watch. A watch has to be a watch, so I can trust that it's a watch. Ya trackin with me?

If I were to stare at my watch, I could start matching my every day life to the rhythm of its seconds. The more I stared at it, the more I would become familiar with the rhythm. Maybe I would even start to move to its rhythm without thinking about it as much. Then people could look at me and see a rhythm that they want for themselves, instead of seeing Mary Beth. They could have the rhythm if they really want it, because it's consistent and it's just as much for them as it is for me. Even if they're having a hard time (no pun intended. haha.).

Anytime I hear God's voice, I know I'm going to see His goodness. It might not always be in the timing that I expected, and it might make me nervous, or excited. But I'll always hear His voice eventually and see His goodness. John 10:27; Psalms 31:19; Job 33:14

Any time I turn my attention to what the Holy Spirit is doing, I'm brought back to reality. No matter what, if He makes a promise, He makes a promise. Even if I look around and feel like things are too this or that for it to happen, or it's not in my timing. Yup. His promises are "Yes" and "Amen." 
2 Corinthians 1:20

If you were to ask me for prayer or guidance, I could confidently ask God, knowing that He will speak what you really need to hear. It wouldn't make sense to just try to pray over you what I think you need, from my own strength. Why do that when I could just ask God? You don't need to hear what I'm saying. You need to hear what God's saying. Matthew 10:19-20; Matthew 6:6-8

When I don't feel like I'm hearing God clearly, or at all, I can completely trust that He's with me, watching and waiting. Even though sometimes I let my perceptions of what's going on around me become louder than His voice, I know He's still speaking. I can't see what all He's doing, but I know that His character is consistent. He can't not be who He is, so I can trust that He's always faithful, always good, always in love with me, always working all things together for the good of those who love Him, etc. Deuteronomy 31:8; James 1:17; Job 33:14; Romans 8:28

If I were to stare at Jesus, I could start matching my everyday life to the movements of His heart. The more I stared at Him, the more I would know Him. Maybe I would even start to match my life to the movements of His heart more easily, out of hunger and love and knowing He's worth it. Then people could look at me and see more of the true, deep, consuming love of Jesus and want it for themselves, instead of just seeing Mary Beth. They could have Him if they really want Him, because He's in love with them. He's consistent and He loves them just as much as He loves me, regardless of where they've been or what they've done. 1 John 2:5-6; Romans 5:8; 1 John 4:19; Luke 19:10; Acts 10:34-35; Proverbs 8:17

Jesus' birthday playlist.

With finals coming to a grand close and the actual Christmas season filling the air, I thought I would take a little leaf out of my sweet friend Megan's book and let you in on some of the songs I've been loving (blaring) lately. Note: this is a Christmas playlist that I've accumulated since I was a wee lass. Some of these are songs my family likes together. (i.e. don't judge)

If you've never used 8Tracks before, I'd consider looking into it. It's like Pandora, only it provides less of the unfortunate, what-on-earth-is-this-song lottery. It's also nice because it builds a list of the songs you've listened to, and after you've listened to a playlist all the way through, you can go back and listen to whatever song of your choosing, and, wait for it, you can skip songs endlessly. It also doesn't allow more than three songs from one artist or album, guaranteeing variety. It's great!

*steps off 8Tracks soapbox*

You can glean from some of Megan's blog gold >here<.

Merry Christmas!

1. Silent Night AARON SLATEN

2. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, AARON SLATEN

3. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, ANDREW BELLE

4. White Christmas, BING CROSBY

5. O Come, O Come, Emmanuel, EMILY HEARN

6. Oiche Chiun (Silent Night), ENYA

7. Holly Jolly Christmas, THE FORMAT

8. O Come Let Us Adore Him, HILLSONG

9. Do You Hear What I Hear?, JOHN FRENCH

10. Santa Clause Is Coming to Town, THE JACKSON 5

11. Auld Lang Syne (Charity Medley), VARIOUS ARTISTS

12. Go Tell It On the Mountain, JOHN FRENCH

13. O Holy Night (Postlude), JOHN FRENCH

14. O Come All Ye Faithful, JOSH GROBAN

15. Silent Night, LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO

16. What Child is This, MATT WERTZ

17. Silent Night, PRISCILLA AHN

18. Away in a Manger, SHANE & SHANE

19. Go Tell It On The Mountain, SEABIRD

20. O Come O Come Emmanuel, SUFJAN STEVENS

21. Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24, TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA

22. Do You Hear What I Hear?, VANESSA CARLTON

23. Little Drummer Boy, ALY & AJ

24. Happy Xmas (War is Over), CELINE DION

25. Carol of the Bells - Sing We Now of Christmas, BARLOW GIRL

26. Away in a Manger, BLAINE LARSEN

27. A Holly Jolly Christmas, BURL IVES

28. Angels We Have Heard on High, DAVID CROWDER BAND

29. Baby, It's Cold Outside, DEAN MARTIN

30. O Come O Come Emmanuel, ENYA

31. Silent Night, JOHNNY CASH

32. Little Drummer Boy, JOSH GROBAN FT. ANDY MCKEE

33. O Come All Ye Faithful, JUSTIN KIMMEL

34. Away In A Manger, MARTINA MCBRIDE

35. The First Noel, PENBROKE HALL

36. O Holy Night, SLEEPING AT LAST

37. O Come O Come Emmanuel, ZERBIN

A wonderful season, in pictures!

November is beautiful. The weather, the holiday season, getting to be with family, all of it.

Here's some of the things I've been up to lately. In pictures! Because let's be honest, in the blogging world, pictures are more interesting.

This wasn't in November, but it's worth documenting. We celebrated my dear frond Alyssa's birthday in late October! It was very "Alyssa": s'mores and worshipping Jesus on the shores of Lake Waco! She's worth celebrating, for sure.

Also not in November. But I got to reunite with two of my life-long besties recently. In first grade, Hannah (right) was the new kid, and I walked right up to her and told her how we were going to be best friends forever. Then, in second grade, Cameron (left) was the new kid, and did pretty much the same thing to me! We keep our promises in this friend triangle. Life with them is consistent and fun. 

photo credit: Hannah Sandle

Jesus is moving in our lifegroup! A few weeks ago, we felt like the Lord was highlighting baptism. We brought it to lifegroup, they asked Jesus, and two incredible women of God felt like the Lord put it on their hearts to get baptized! Megan Fitz and Betsy are two of my favorite blessings from the Lord this semester. I feel like I've known both of them for forever, when really it's been one short semester. Thankful for sweet friendships and Jesus kindly laying His Presence on our lifegroup each week. 

photo credit: Megan Shipley

We had a dog! For 10 days. Sandy (Sandra, as I affectionately renamed her)(Glitzy, as Mike not-so-affectionately renamed her) was found on 8th street, and we got to keep her while her vaccinations were happening. She was such a troll. Growled, bit us, peed everywhere. But somehow, some of us miss her. She's in a great home now! Glad it's not ours! But enjoyed Sandy while she was here. Kinda. 

Our lifegroup had a Thanksgiving feast, one we deemed "Feast O'Joy!" The formal theme couldn't have fit our lifegroup more perfectly. Collectively, we love to dress up. Also, the Wible's were so gracious in letting us have the party at their beautiful house in the woods of Waco! Seriously, did not know Waco had such beauty. Their house is a wonderland, and the Wible's themselves are just incredible. Overall, a good night and a full belly was had by all! Thank you, Jesus!

Photo credit: Berry Burgess

photo credit: Austin Wright

photo credit: Austin Wright

You can't combine the Waco Farmer's Market with these girlies and not be out of control refreshed. I treasure time with them so much. I know what community is because of these two! They make me feel at home and I'm so thankful for their hearts. And senses of humor. Laughing with them is a whole new kind of laughter!

photo credit: Megan Shipley

photo credit: Megan Shipley

This is the best flavor of Blue Bell ice cream. I anxiously await it every year. Here's to hoping my wisdom teeth come out this holiday season so I can shamelessly devour it in mass quantities. There was one left at the grocery store. Jesus was waiting for me! Favor of God. He loves the little things that I love. 

Those are some highlights. I'm thankful that Jesus' portion for me is to have a full life. He's in all the details. He's exciting and following Him is such a fun adventure. I'm in. 

Fall is a real season and leaves really do change color.

Jesus answered my prayer for refreshment this past weekend.

My dear friend Alyssa and I took our fall break to visit our lovely friends in Fayetteville, Arkansas. These are the girls that we went to Kenya with this past summer. (see other blog entries)

These girls are just some of the best. 

One of them used to struggle with drugs, alcohol, and broken relationships, and has now seen the redeeming power of Jesus and walks in complete freedom with some of the most contagious joy I've ever encountered. One of them has chosen to live amongst friends that haven't necessarily tasted and seen of Jesus as she has, and chooses every day to love them well and show them His heart. Another found and accepted Jesus close to a year ago, and seeing Him through her eyes and heart is beyond refreshing. 

I love how following Jesus looks so different for all five of us. He uses my time with them for lots of things, but one of them being to remind me that the values of the Kingdom (prayer, discipleship, evangelism, and more) truly are reproducible anywhere. I've believed that, but it's a whole other thing entirely to leave your community and see it.

Seeing these girls felt like we'd never left Kenya. I'm so thankful to get to do life with such sweet and FUN friends. #woopigsooie #WPS

L to R: me, Erika, Carly, Alyssa, Cambry

the unforced rhythms of grace

Hello again!

Apologies for not posting more in Kenya, or at Kamp. I'm not a writer by default, so my first instinct is definitely not to blog. I'm more of a sit-and-think type of girl, and my whirlwind of thoughts doesn't typically make it onto paper.

To set the scene, I've been sick lately. The whole face-hurting-sneezing-coughing-prebronchitis (apparently I got time fo dat) shenanigan. This happens, without fail, every single Fall.

I'm also not really a complainer. My parents never let me when I was growing up, so it's never been something I've resulted to. I actually feel pretty guilty when I catch myself whining and not just seeking Jesus or doing practical things to solve the situation.

Nevertheless, I called my mom yesterday while I was driving to a geology review session. I was originally just calling to check in and say hi, but ended up talking about how sick I felt and how I didn't want to go to the review session and why is it 3 hours long and all I want is a nap, whine whine whinnneee, etc. I went on for a pretty long while. The whole time, my mom just listened, providing all the right "Aw"'s and "Well, that's no fun!"'s at all the right places. As soon as I'd finished, a lightbulb went off in my noggin and I all of a sudden felt really bad for our entire conversation. I couldn't believe I'd sat and complained for what felt like forever and she'd actually listened to all of it. I apologized, and said that I wanted to be uplifting, not someone who just calls and dumps their burdens on someone else.

Then, Cherie said much with little.
"What? Don't be ridiculous. That's what moms are for!"

We talked about some other, happier things for awhile until the review session was about to start. Then it hit me as I was walking in: How often do I do this with Jesus?

How often do I start to pour out my struggles and burdens onto God and then feel guilty? How often do I believe the lie that my particular burdens are "too much," and that it burdens God to take them away from me?

Right on cue, I heard that sweet, tiny voice in my heart say, "What? Don't be ridiculous. That's what the Holy Spirit is for!"

The Spirit of God is the miraculous healer, the perfect counselor, and the ultimate nurturer. Not only are we invited to take rest at His feet, but doing so is an act of obedience to God because it's something He asks of us!

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matt. 11:28-30 NIV)

Love reading it this way:
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me -- watch how I do it. Learned the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matt. 11:28-30 MSG)

Jesus WANTS my burdens! I'm allowing myself to be blinded, and nullifying the depths of God's everlasting grace by trying to hold on to them! At lifegroup a few weeks ago, the incredible Betsy felt like God put something on her heart, and she shared it with the group. She felt like God gave her a picture of all of us walking to a central point, carrying heavy, metal burdens attached to chains on our wrists. Then she realized that we weren't actually bound to these chains; we were holding on to them. We saw Jesus and let go, and for every chain that we let fall to the ground, Jesus handed us a balloon.

We can't believe the lie that we're too much. We're just enough in Jesus. We can't keep everything to ourselves and then wonder why we don't feel like God's listening. Drop everything to receive Life. Let Him show you how big He is! Stop looking at yourself and stare at Jesus. It's simple, and it's FREEING!

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." (2 Cor. 3:17 NIV)

Exhale. Praise Him.

(I tend to write how I speak, so if something didn't quite make sense or if you want clarification/explanation on any part of this, please ask me.)

Ta ta for now.

Kenya: One week in!

Jambo!

We're officially one week in and things are really moving!

We're still meeting for sessions at 7am each morning! We go over some stuff from our intern packet, and then comes the interesting part. Kenyans learn well from stories, so we've been learning how to tell Bible stories in a way that is easy to understand. We have to use specific wording because there are so many unreached people groups in Kenya, and as some are beginning to be reached, they are using certain lingo, so we are learning how to tell the stories in ways that will translate to all of Kenya. It's really interesting, and pretty hard considering I don't remember anything that isn't right in front of me, hah. Then we go over part of Romans with Tom.

My times with Jesus in the morning have been incredible! I've felt such a peace. Looking up from my Bible to the Kenyan sunrise is unreal. Jesus is so in all the details!

My prayers from Day 2 got answered! We did our first outreach today! We took a smaller bus (matatu) to Kenyatta University. It's a BEAUTIFUL campus. And super big. My group split up and I ended up alone, which was actually really good. I went into one cafe to buy a soda, and heard one of the sweet worker girls say she was stressed. I went over and started talking to her, and she said "hold on," and turned to another customer. I thought she wanted me to wait for her so I just stood there, but then she motioned for me to leave. I thought I was getting her in trouble so I left and just kinda stood outside and prayed about what to do next. Next thing I see, she is crawling under the counter to leave work and come outside to talk with me more! I died. Turns out, her mom was admitted to the hospital this morning, and they don't know if she'll make it through the night. She said meeting me that day was a miracle from God! I got to pray with her for her mom, and talked about her relationship with Jesus! She was such a sweetheart. We exchanged email addresses so hopefully I'll hear about her and her mom soon! Everyone else had some great things happen at the outreach also! God is moving here! We are on fire.

The buses in Kenya are party buses that each have a theme. We took the hip hop bus (yes.) and danced the whole way home with the other Kenyans on the bus.

I'll get some pictures of our compound and different things on here soon.

Anyways. Cannot thank yall enough for the prayers and encouragement! Love all of you dearly. (:

Kwa jeri!

Kenya: Day 2!

I wrote this on our second day and never got to post it, haha. Here goes!

Jambo! 

It's the end of day 2 and I'm already in love! It's their winter here, so it's been in the 60s-70s the whole time. We live with 7ish other Kenyan interns, and they are hilarious. It's the first time that I've been in a culture-clash situation where both sides actually understand and appreciate each other's senses of humor and it's not just small talk. I room with Alyssa and our adorable chef, Helen! She asked if Dolly Parton was alive today. She's the best. I can't really giggle about that though considering I've already asked "So like when is yalls Christmas here?" They were like uh.. December 25th? 

The girls are incredible! We were insta friends from the first day that we all were here! They love Jesus so well, and one of my favorite things about the program in general is that we all look really different in how we follow Him!

On Sunday we went to a church that was for American missionaries serving in Kenya! It was so powerful! The presence was thick. These people are laying their lives down 24/7 and it sorta seemed like this was their hour to be refreshed and relax with the Lord and other people that can relate well. It was so cool to be worshipping with so many people that were giving all they had in the presence of God! 

We were supposed to do outreach at the University of Nairobi today but apparently the students were doing finals. I'm really really looking forward to getting to the outreach! I just wanna share with people! These people are God's children and my heart is burning for more of them to walk in that identity! Heyoooo let's go let's go

We've learned so much already. The people here carry so much wisdom! We have lessons or "sessions" every morning where we all sit in our compound and just get into the word together and talk about what it means until we don't have anything left. Or at least that's what we've done so far. It's super challenging. The Kenyans eat the whole Bible for breakfast and just throw it up on us. (gross? sorry.) 

Keep praying! There are so many unreached people groups here. 

I love all of you! Thank you to everyone for your prayers and encouraging messages!! 

Kwa jeri! (Goodbye!)